STRAIGHT HAIR!?!?!?!?!?

I, Caroline Martin, have straight hair. (Not to worry- it will be curly again with it's first contact with water- it's just temporary). Not curly, not even resembling curly hair. There is no evidence on this head that a curl ever resided here. I went to a stylist here in Nashville. She went to Harding and is a member at Otter Creek and we sing on praise team together, and she's great (Eve Clevenger). She really wanted me to let her straighten my hair. I have heard from every curly hair girl that they finally got their hair to style straight with a "Chi Iron," a little $125 contraption that smooths any hair with the magic of porcalin plates (I am so unrefined, I don't even know how to spell that word- porcelin- and I wouldn't know even if I did spell it correctly). I have been sceptical of all the reports that it works, because, let's face it, I have tried throughout my whole life to straighten it, not permantly, but just to see what it looks like, and for variety. I mean we've tried the perm (which was supposed to reverse my curl and straighten it but instead left me looking like a poodle- oh the awkward years), laying my head on the ironing board while some irons it (smart), blowdrying it straight (which we had to terminate half way through because my hair was taking up the entire living space), and several other techniques I have subconsiously blocked from my memory. But I walked out of that salon today with Jennifer Aniston hair (not the body, mind you, but the hair). I really didn't know what to do with it. I was barely touching it because if you have curly hair, the more you touch, the more it frizzes, and BAM, before you know it- AFRO! Eve said, "Caroline, you can touch it. You can EVEN run your fingers through it." I asked, "And it won't poof out?" She assured me it wouldn't. Who knew running your fingers through your hair could be revolutionary! All those years of being called "chia pet" finally pays off.