Missing the Mission Field

What a day! Church was fabulous. We had a wonderful praise worship today and I could feel the Spirit luring us to praise him. The missionaries we support in Africa spoke at church this morning and then at our singles group tonight. It really made me homesick for missions, especially the Dominican. I could literally feel my heart hurt from missing the D.R. and Haiti, and Brian and Tammie (the misisonaries there), and the sweet kids, and even their blasted dog Max who's bark scares me to my very core (okay, maybe I don't miss him that much).

I have been feeling this way a lot lately-maybe the past 3 months, and wrestling with it a lot. Seeing those missionaries here today and hearing them talk about their ministry just made me miss it even more.

I am really settled here in Nashville. I love my job, I have a great church group, and everything is going well. God is blessing my life here more than I could ever imagine. But sometimes the American hustle and bustle just gets my goat. And lately I have been in situations where people agreed to disagree on God's core concepts in the gospel because that's the politically correct thing to do. Sometimes my heart just doesn't want to be tame and settle for that mindset.

All of the things that used to be SO black and white for me and were so important to me for so long- like living in Searcy for the rest of my life and staying in the states - I am forgetting the reasons they were so important. Not that being close to my family isn't important, just being away from them didn't kill me like I thought it would, and we are still just as close, if not more so.

I don't know if this is just a phase or if the Lord is beginning to plant seeds in my heart. It is fun to be independant. And my job isn't just punching a clock or making numbers, I am making a difference in people's lives and helping them heal physically, and I know none of this is in vain. I really enjoy it. - I am happy.

But a year ago I couldn't imagine ever leaving Searcy and I opened my mind for one second to the possibility of leaving and look what happened. The Lord replanted me and I know I am where I need to be right now. It just intregues me to wonder what would happen if I opened my mind for a second to the possibility of God using me in another way or place than what I had planned for myself, maybe not for my whole life but at least for a little while. The amazing thing is that through these ramblings, I can go to sleep with the peace that the Lord has everything in control and he will lead me exactly to where he wants me.