Lookback Story #1: Syphilis

I have recently noticed how many of you comment and enjoy my "Caroline stories" and my old people stories. I have blogged so many of them over the years, but who wants to read through 200 posts in hopes a few good stories? SO over the next few weeks, I am going to re post some of my favorite stories and blog posts of all times. If you haven't heard this story, it's a Caroline classic.

Syphilis
Originally posted November 6, 2005

Ah, my loyal bloggers. I know you all just check in on this thing to laugh at me. And just when you thought I had reached my max on funny stories, I hit one straight out of the park. The following is an account of my recent visit to the corneal specialist. Most of you know I had a weird-funk eye thing about 6 years ago. Almost lost my eye. Never fully recovered. If you want more details I will give them. So now that I have been here in Nashville for over a year, I felt the need to establish an eye doctor here, which partially broke my heart because Dr. Nevins in Searcy is like family, considering how I spent more time with him than anyone when all that was going on. So Wednesday I am at the corneal specialist, and with in a minute he tells me I have this condition called "interstitial keratitis," which is why my eye never fully healed. So he is explaining this all to me, and he gets to what the causes may be. This is how the conversation went.

MD: "The causes can include Herpes Simplex, bacterial infections, tuberculosis, syphilis, and some other things. You work in the medical profession so you have had your tb skin test, right?"
Me: "Yes. It was negative"
MD: "I doubt it's syphilis, so it's probably Herpes Simplex or caused by your bacterial infection."
Me (aka Naive idiot who doesn't realize syphilis is an STD): "What would happen if the cause was syphilis? How would they treat that? How would they know I had it"
MD: "We could run some tests, but I doubt it's syphilis."
Me: "Yea, could we run those tests, because if I told my mom it that syphilis could be a cause she would definitely want me to get tested just to rule it out."
MD: "Just tell her it may be "Louie's" then she won't know what it is."
Me: "She's a nurse."
MD (now I understand why he was smiling at me): "Well no fooling her then. Sure let's run a test, but I really doubt it is syphilis."
Me (GENIUS): "Well, I did spent a lot of time in several third world countries as a missionary intern, so let's do those tests just to make sure."

The funny thing is is that I didn't even realize syphilis was an STD until I was talking to my mom and sister later. So if you are asking, "CAROLINE how in the WORLD did you redeem yourself?" I would tell you that I didn't. That that doctor thinks I am some sick flussie that "made my way" through Haiti and the Dominican Republic. I am getting those syphilis test run next week. I will let you know if I am positive.

And the Story Continues...
Originally posted November 7, 2005

So this syphilis thing has gotten way out of hand. In the back of my head, I guess I had hoped it didn't come off as bad I remembered it. But I went home this weekend, and I was retelling the story. My friend Deedee had told me that she was sure the Doctor realized that I didn't know what I was talking about, but I since have evidence to prove otherwise. So, the test that the Doctor told me to get, in my understanding, was to test me for Herpes Simplex, and all those things that might be the cause. However, Thursday night, I was rehashing the story with my family, and turns out a VDRL test (the test he wrote me a script for) is specifically for Syphilis. That's it. That's what it tests for. So apparently he didn't get the fact that I was an idiot.

And it gets worse. So that day after I left the eye doctor's, I went to work at the hospital. I went to the outpatient lab next door to the therapy department and asked if they did one of those tests, a VDRL. The lab guy looked at me weird and said they do them in the hospital. So then I called down to the blood bank and said, "Hi this is Caroline, the Speech Therapist here at the hospital, and I need to get a VDRL." She said sure, to just come on down. Thank goodness I didn't have time that day. Then I thought I would ask the infectious disease doctor that I work with a lot what he thought about it, but praise God an angel intervened and I couldn't remember the initials of the test and he had no idea of what I was talking about. So I am sure by now, the Corneal Specialist I went to, and the blood bank in the hospital I WORK AT, think I am one sick hussy. I will be calling the doctor's office tomorrow morning at 7:30 am, when they open, to set the record straight. Geez.