Lookback Story #4: Nair

A bad thing happened this week. I had to wait to write about it until it cleared up, because I didn't want all my Church friends who read this blog to stare at me or draw attention to it at Church. So, later Saturday night after watching a movie, my friend Mary Pullias and I were going to tweeze our eyebrows and wax our lips before she left. Except she brought Nair, so she was gonna let me try it out. I have never used it before (obviously, after you read this story.) Right when we were going to use it, some our friends called and we ended up going out and meeting up with them instead. So Monday after I got finished at the hospital in Hendersonville, which is 30 minutes from my house, I ran to the Target across the street to pick up a few things, and grabbed a bottle of Nair. I decide, the multi-tasker that I am, that I am going to just do it on the way home and save some time. Ha. So I apply the first coat. Burn, sting, tingle, and then numb after 2 minutes. I leave it on for 5 minutes and wipe it off with an extra clean shirt in my car and a little drop of water from my water bottle. I scrutinize in the mirror and realize the right side of my lip didn't get completely "naired," if you will. So apply a second point (at this point I am 20 minutes away from my house, but sitting in traffic so I am stil 30 min from getting home). Burn, sting- more this time because it's already been naired twice, tingle, numb after 1 1/2 minutes. I wiped it off after 5 and realized it STILL wasn't completly naired, so oh yes, all you who are cringing, I went for yet another coat. At this point, I noticed the upper portion of my lip was really red. After I took the last coat off, I realized my whole upper lip was red as could be, skin was peeling, my lip was swollen, and it was tingling and burning so bad that I wanted to scream. At this point I am at a stand still in traffic 15 minutes from my house. So I take this opportunity to open my Nalgene bottle and THROW water on my face. I was going to go exercise, but instead, as soon as I got out of traffic, I hightailed it home and ran inside the house and began throwing water on my face repeatedly. At this point I had a chemical burn to my upper lip, and it was really swollen. (And my face and hair is the only part of my body I don't have a complex about, so this wasn't a good week for the old self-esteem.) The healing process over the week was pretty rough. I had to put several coats of makeup on and explain to my nurse manager what happened so she wouldn't think I had some weird contagious rash. I was telling my friends about it and Mary Pullias said, "Oh honey, we obviously didn't talk this through well enough before you used it." Regan discovered that the Nair I bought was the kind for legs and arms, and not for the face. And the instructions on the back say to wash THOUROUGHLY immediately after the 5 minutes of usage. My mother said, "Honey, that stuff DISSOLVES your hair, it was eating you flesh!" So will I use Nair again? Yes, but this time I am using the kind for the face, and I am setting the kitchen timer with a bucket of water ready to plunge my head into the second 5 minutes is over. You boys just don't understand what we go through to be presentable.